A skill I have learned through the years is to laugh at myself, but with that being said, there were moments in my life where laughing was the last thing on my mind. These stories are funny now; they weren't funny then! ENJOY...
MARTA
In 7th and 8th grade, I rode the MARTA train for 45 minutes to and from school every day. The train in the mornings is usually full with business men and women going to work and people hurrying to catch their flight. On this Friday morning, there seemed to be more people on the train than usual.
I had a seat next to my friend, and there were two seats in front of me that were perpendicular. Both of those seats were also occupied by friends. The train was standing room only. I had one guy's butt in my face and another gentleman standing right on my toe, but that wasn't the real problem. The problem was my stomach was starting to hurt, but we were only two stops away from school. I figured I could make it, I mean I had only had a waffle for breakfast.
As we approached the stop before mine, I started feeling worse. The doors opened... I tried to get up to get out of this cocoon of people but... BEEP BEEP BEEP... the doors closed. "It's alright, I can make it three more minutes," I thought to myself. All of a sudden, I catch a gallon of throw up right in my mouth. This was no silent activity because my throat had made the noise of a clogged, bubbling toilet. All three of my friends flung their eyes towards me so fast I could feel the breeze.
With my cheeks bulging and my eyes watering I made a simple head shaking gesture and projectile vomited all over the MARTA train. It was on me, my friends, this guy's butt, the ceiling, a briefcase... nothing was spared. No one said a word! The next minute seemed like an hour. These doors could not open fast enough. But just as the doors were about to open I felt a tap on my shoulder. A lady was holding ONE tissue out to me; I grabbed it dabbed my mouth and thought to myself, "One tissue... what did she want me to do with that?"
BEEP BEEP BEEP... the doors open and I sprint off smelling like digested waffles and looking like I had just urinated on myself. As a sprint up the stairs all I could hear was, "Ladies and gentleman... we are going to need everyone to evacuate the south bound train for sanitation reasons." I shut that thing down!
Wrong Room
During my freshman year at Clemson, I lived in Stadium Suites. Andre and I were roommates but each had our own bedroom to sleep in. Along with the two bedrooms, as you first entered the dorm room, there were two sinks and a bathroom with a toilet and shower. My mom had come up a few times to put a little rug down and a "manly" shower curtain so the place didn't look like a prison.
One cold December morning after returning from an early 8 a.m. class, I pushed 3 on the elevator while listening to my ipod. I was in a complete zone. The doors to the elevator opened, I got off, and some lady got on. Still in a zone and bundled up in a huge coat over two sweatshirts I proceeded to my door. As I placed the key in the lock, it wouldn't turn. Thinking to myself, "Oh, Andre must have left the door unlocked." I checked the handle, and sure enough it was open. I flung the door open and was in dismay, ALL OUR STUFF WAS GONE! The two bedroom doors were closed and couldn't believed our room had been robbed. I bolted through Andre's door to see if the perpetrators had taken any other valuable items... But it wasn't Andre in the room.
Sitting in front of me with his shirt off was a guy I had never seen before, and then it all clicked. The lady getting on the elevator was going up; I was on the second floor; This wasn't my room, and this guy now looked just as confused as I did. With a calm face and warm smile I simply said, "Wrong room."
I'm sure this guy told this story all over campus about some idiot coming into his room to just leave with two simple words, "Wrong room!"
Which Table?
It's dinner time in the Harcombe dinning hall and students have come from all over campus to graze with their friends. I had gone through a few lines to get some food and spotted an open table, but it wasn't just one table, it was two! This is completely unheard of in the mosh pit some like to call the dinning hall. I placed my tray on one of the tables and shouted to Andre, "Hey... You want to sit here?" As Andre always does, he answers with a roll of the eyes "I don't care."
"Of course you don't," I replied while throwing my hands in the air, but my right hand didn't quite get as high as I thought. That's because it had just demolished a poor innocent bystander's tray with four plates of food pilled high, two soda drinks, cookies for desert, and silver ware. That innocent bystander's tray was now all over the floor, and the grazing herd in Harcombe and turned to see what had interrupted their meal. I also noticed out of the corner of my eye Andre on his knees laughing silently. What a guy!
The two of us stood their for what seemed like an eternity. I finally broke the silence, "My bad."
These are just a few embarrassing stories of mine. I have plenty more, but you guys get the point, I have had my fair share of embarrassing moments.
